Friday, 7 December 2007

Too Little Information

Extract from Alfonso Avalanche’s Caledon Citizenship Application Form:

To ensure you are the kind of person we are looking for in Caledon, please provide in the space below 8 (eight) random facts about yourself (Please note - evidence of the authenticity of these facts may be requested from you by a Caledon Ministry of Information Officer):

1. Despite my profession, I do not possess a full Circus Strongman licence.

2. I served as an engineer onboard the Circus Dreadnaught Barnum during the Clown Wars and was briefly attached to the Human Cannonball Commando unit.

3. My Uncle Monty had an unfortunate accident while juggling elephants.

4. I wrestled all comers at my Uncle’s circus under the name of “Gigante Enmascarado”.

5. The Flying Circus’s main tent is in fact constructed from steel plate, rather than canvas (to hopefully avoid a reoccurrence of the unfortunate “elephant juggling” incident).

6. My Professorship issued by the Royal Society for High Adventure was purchased over the aethernet for the low, low price of L$100.

7. My mother was the Circus strongwoman, and bearded lady at my Uncle’s circus.

8. The steam powered elephant gains its lift from a unique uni-directional pressure system that is accomplished by an unusual arrangement of boiler pipework.